January 2010
19 posts
how
ironic is the name of this blog.
anywayse.
today was.
i d k.
right?
Why do I go for people for answers
when i don’t even hear what i want.
if I know what i want to hear.
and i know they won’t give it to me.
why do i keep trying.
all i have to say is.
you don’t know how great you got it, kid.
dang.
love or lust?
are they the same?
now it’s goodbye.
i didn’t think it’d last forever.
if you were to imply
the words we never
said.
im hanging by a
thread.
i just need anybody to save me.
so i can be free.
The answer..
is no. I don’t think I’ll be happy in the end.
But who knows? this isn’t the end.
I’ve noticed. i tend to screw up EVERYTHING.
Not even fucking kidding.
Seriously.
How the fuck did I mess this one up this itme?
What the fuck.
I’m confused.
I don’t know my feelings anymore.
Emotions are foreign.
Besides jealousy, and despair.
I don’t know...
o:
O:
music
really is what we just can’t explain.
it explains it for us.
it changes the way we feel.
music is that powerful.
it’s amazing.. (:
Tell me in the end…
am
i
happy?
Why
am.
i.
fighting.
for.
nothing.
Why
are you doing this to me?
It’s hard to take control.
When you don’t know where the steering wheel is.
You search for it, and search for it.
Yet you can never feel it there.
Where is it?
There’s no grasp.
Its not there.
I just want back in your head.
Feelings intervene
with who we want to be.
Hesitate.
Stop.
To.
Breathe.
I thought your feelings would change.
But I thought wrong.
I thought time heals everything.
But I thought wrong.
Maybe I’m the one wrong.
What’s wrong.
Every things wrong.
It’s not having the same feelings back?
Why do I let things effect me so much.
Guilt.
Responsibility.
Oh. An another...
Cold.
Quiet.
Thoughts.
Binge eating.
Isn’t healthy.
Thought.
Everything.
Would stay the same.
Boy was I wrong.
Contradiction.
I wish I could write a story
With all the right beginnings
and with all the right answers
with all the fitting people
but in the end it’d have to be
something worth reading.
Would you be the one I’d hear screaming?
Would you be the one...
I want to be with you.
The distance.
Is too much.
To ask for.
Or is it?
I can’t answer that.
I don’t know how to answer that.
Lovesick.
Hopeless.
Romantic.
I wanna race with you.
In your car.
I want to feel the same rush you do.
When it runs though your viens.
It’s too much to ask for.
It’s too much to ask for.
To breathe the same air you do.
To...
Severed Ties.
I carry this longing inside
My self, that i can’t
seem to put my finger on it
Til it all collides
and you wont grant
me it til it fits.
Its like
this gray
world
lost
its color.
And to me.
That was everything.
I need
to find a way
to find it
before it
disappears again.
I just don’t know h o w.
I just need you.
To.
Save.
Me.
But...
dot dot dot
New semester.
Things have changed.
I feel like every things the same.
Yet it’s not.
I don’t know.
It’s like people are the same everywhere,
and I’m looking for something different.
I’m looking for what doesn’t exist.
New classes, new people, new teachers, new places.
But yet.
It’s all the same.
I’ve seen it before.
I’ve seen the...
Why..
Why do I let people step on me.
Why do I let people hurt me.
Why do I let people affect me in so many ways.
Should I just not care?
Should I just be a bitch?
I feel like I shut down every time.
They don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Maybe it is.
Because I feel like it’s destroying me, little by little..
And no ones there to stop me.
I feel like. There’s really no...
Sometimes..
I feel like I’m a victim of the rules I live by. I feel like I’m searching for something that I can’t find. I don’t really know exactly if that’s a good or bad thing. But. I’ve been thinking. I’ve been relizing a lot of things. It’s just that sometimes I forget about them..
Mayday Parade.
If luck is on my side tonight My clumsy tongue will make it right And wrists that touch It isn’t much, but it’s enough To form imaginary lines Forget your scars, we’ll forget mine The hours change so fast Oh God, please make this last ‘Cause I’m outdated, overrated Morning seems so far way So I’ll sing a melody